I was strolling around the shoprite at Independence Layout Enugu, and I walk passed thus girl seating in one corner with head phone covering her both ears singing *John Legend, “All of me* with a very melodious voice.
She is doing very well, running the scales like Adele with hitch.
What a fine gal with a nice voice, if I hear this kind of voice singing into my ears every morning then my life will be
heaven and earth.
Her eyes was shut as she sing as if she have no problem
in this world. I guess the reason for shutting her eyes is to avoid distraction but I
needed to get her attention
and talk to her.
I quickly remembered the players code *101* be a transformer ” transform yourself to any character that suit the moment.
So I just have to transform myself to a musical icon, that’s hard cos I know
nothing in music.
I couched and she opened her eyes noticing my presence, I said to her, u need to clear your voice with, Doh, Reh, Mi, Fah, Soh, Lah, Ti, Doh then u go back , Doh, Ti, Lah, Soh, Fah, Mi, Reh, Doh, so she asked
“Do u do music then I answered yes that I’m a music coach. (She was impress and
attention gotten, baddest nigga)
She told me that she’s and artiste , she does blues as her own genre of music, she’s just doing voice training for her stage performances somewhere later in the night.
I said wow, that’s nice, I’m also a multi instrumentalist, I play keyboard and guitar, she became more impressed.
I just lied to get her attention little did I know that my enemies re ready to finish me.
She invited me to a party she is to go perform live and me as a bad guy I followed praising myself that my tactics
doesn’t fail as I did not only catch the fish I also got invited for a party.
We got to the party and she was called to perform, she got to the stage and said ” I will be performing tonight with a friend, he’s a very talented singer and a multi instrumentalist, I will be doing the singing while he play the keyboard, we rehearsed together before coming.
Pls put your hands together as my friend Stan join me on the stage” I was clapping hard like others thinking is another friend of hers not knowing I was the Stan that
is a very talented singer and a multi instrumentalist that is going to be on the keyboard.
We clapped for about 5mins and we didn’t see any Stan on the stage joining her, so she came down the stage and told me that I’m the Stan and I should follow her to the stage and and play the keyboard.
Me!!! Are u for real? That’s when the lies I told her earlier on that I’m a music coach and a multi instrumentalist dawned on
me like Karma.
My God what kind of embarrassment am in for today? I have Neva played keyboard in my life and its already late for me to tell her that I lied and I’m just a comedian and I know nothing in music.
On the stage she told me, go to the keyboard that we will be performing *All of me by John Legend*.
So I stood starring at the keyboard wondering why the white keys is longer than the black keys and why the white keys is down and the black keys is on top.
I can sense from the audience that they re expecting much from us with the continuous Ovation’s.
So the girl told me to start, she said I should *Solo* the song, did I even know what *Solo* means, how I wish the gal will know that I was lying and save me from this
embarrassment but my enemies has sworn to embarrass me today.
The crowd waited for about 10mins and nothing happened, the girl was like “Stan start na, my voice is on F Sharp! I looked for where F is written on the keys which I didn’t see and I summoned courage and I
touched the white key and it sounded ” taah” God na die I dey Oh, how can this “Taah” be transformed to *John Legend all of me*?
I touched another key and it sounded “Piih” like a car horn and the girl said, Stan be serious na” and I touched the black key and it sounded “Meew” like a cat.
The girl got angry and left the stage for me. I was sweating and panting thinking of the next key to touch when four hefty men came and dragged me out with
unforgettable number of Slap’s.
Thank God it was all a dream.
I won’t try it in real life..